Vanity License Plates - 4 letter word fun
Wyoming issues vanity license plates, like most of the other states, but they call them prestige plates. Whether you know them as custom license plates, personalized license plates or prestige plates, here in Wyoming, you can only get 4 letters on your plate.
With only 4 letters, there isn't much personalizing or customizing you can do. And, I just can't see only 4 letters giving you much prestige either.
Nevertheless, as a Libertarian, I wanted to get prestige plates for all my vehicles so I could show off my love for liberty.
My car and touring motorcycle have CATO on the plate for the Cato Institute in Washington D.C. My around town motorcycle and pickup truck have NRA on the plate for the National Rifle Association.
My flatbed trailer has WOOD on the plate because that's usually what I haul in that thing. One of my pickup bed trailers has DUMP on the plate because that's my trailer for going to the dump. And, the other pickup bed trailer has HWLN on the plate because I use it for haulin' things.
Lastly, my dump truck has SHAT on the plate because I pulled one over on those conscientious do-gooders at the Department of Transportation. They have certain restrictions on what you can have on your vanity license plates. They have three books and lots of computer printouts filled with all sorts of "illegal" combinations that might offend someone.
But, it seems that they don't have a dictionary. Nor do they have an extensive vocabulary or knowledge of the English language. Perhaps that isn't necessary when issuing vanity license plates that can have at most a 4 letter word on them.
They first told me that SHAT was very close to an illegal word. That word of course is SHIT. I then gave them my second choice as HMPR - it stands for Humper, my dog.
When I told them that DUMP was another alternative I would accept, they showed great concern for my public image by asking why I would want something like that on my license plate. I told them it was a dump truck. Only then did they think it made sense.
Here the government is trying to protect me from myself, and protect others from being offended by vanity license plates.
I overheard their conversation and concern about my second choice HMPR, being the name of my Boston Terrier companion. The supervisor cackled in the back of the office: "Now that's a bad sign. That's a bad sign." I could just imagine her shaking her finger at the clerk.
Look at it this way. The government only makes the vanity license plates, they don't have them on their car, so what should they care? It's just another example of government sticking its nose in where it doesn't belong.
It's a form of censorship. It's a way to regulate good taste. It's a way of making you conform to what others think is politically correct. It's a type of social engineering.
The form you use for requesting vanity license plates asks what the four-letter acronym stands for. Mine stands for Silver Haired Adventurous Traveler. Just call me the Shat-man.
After getting all upset (and distracted) with my second choice of HMPR, they let me have SHAT. After all, Humper might offend someone, and the newspaper might have to report that a passing motorist shat their pants at the mere sight of HMPR on a license plate.
I was going to get my first choice after all the probing and investigation through several books and printouts containing forbidden combinations of letters and numbers. Hurray! I was on my way to victory over the oppressive state machine. I only had three more hurdles to go:
- someone was going to make the vanity license plates
- someone had to check for accuracy between the plates and the order
- someone had to issue me the vanity license plates
These represented at least three more opportunities for someone to trip up my master plan.
Not to worry, everything went smoothly and apparently no one noticed the classic 4 letter word on the license plate for which I had paid $30. I filled out the paperwork and was issued my plates without any question of what was on it.
Government had failed to protect the sensibilities of the public and they let a foul-minded license plate slip into my naughty hands for display on the front and back of my dump truck.
I know it's a small victory that these vanity license plates offer, but I'll take one when I can get it. So far, no one has expressed any offense at the sight of my plate.
Not to worry, the Shat-mobile stays mostly on my property for local hauling and dumping.
Hey there Department of Transportation lady! If you thought HMPR was bad, wait until you see what's on my dump truck - issued to me by you. Talk about prestige license plates. This isn't going to look good on your resume! But, this Libertarian thinks it looks great on his dump truck.
Done with Vanity License Plates - take me back to Stupid Laws